Caged
by kisshuismylife
Summary: Kisshu wakes up in a cage, but when Ryou comes in, Kisshu decides that he's going to drive him insane.


**Caged**

Kisshu started to wake up, and realized he was lying on something hard, and he felt bruised all over. Opening his eyes, he noticed wherever he was was dimly lit, and cold. He carefully sat up, and was shocked to see he was in some sort of cage. He tried teleporting, but quickly realized the cage blocked out his powers.

_How did I get here? _he wondered. _And what happened, anyways? _ He was soon to find out.

A light came on over the cage a minute later, and Ryou walked up to the cage, smirking. Kisshu sighed. "I suppose you think you're going to get all my plans for world domination by threatening me, right?" he asked.

"I'll back up the threats with action if you don't cooperate," Ryou said.

Kisshu decided that as long as he was trapped here, he was going to make every minute Blondie was here a living hell for him. He smirked. "I'm going to make you rue the day you captured me," he said. "Any questions?"

"What is your leader's weakness?" Ryou asked.

Kisshu pretended to think about it, then said, "Pink ponies."

"I'm serious!" Ryou snarled.

"So am I," Kisshu said calmly. "Taruto was on sugar high screaming about pink ponies, and Deep Blue apparently overheard, because the next time we heard from him, he said he'd annihilate the next person to mention pink ponies in his presence. So I asked, "What about purple ponies?" and he screamed like a girl and left us in peace for two whole weeks!"

"I MEANT, what's the best way to kill him?" Ryou snarled.

"Bring him a herd of pink ponies; he'll die from overexposure," Kisshu said. "Or you could call in the purple penguin squad….."

"Purple penguins?" Ryou asked nervously.

"Okay, so now I know your weakness," Kisshu said, smirking. "I'll be sure to remember that for once I get out of here."

"You're NEVER getting out of here alive," Ryou snarled.

"But you'll let me out when I'm a ghost so I can haunt you, right?" Kisshu asked hopefully.

"NO!" Ryou shouted, and stormed out.

Kisshu snickered. _That was fun; I hope he comes back with more questions, _he thought evilly.

_**Much later: **_Kisshu was getting bored when Ryou came in again. "Hey, I thought up a better name for you than 'Blondie'," Kisshu said. "I'm going to call you 'Radioactive Butter Boy' from now on! And once I get out of here, I'll convince Mew Pudding to start doing it too!"

"Why Pudding?" Ryou asked.

"She's the most hyper," Kisshu said. "So why are you really here?"

"What's Pai's weakness?" Ryou asked. "And this time, no funny stuff."

"Kitchen knives," Kisshu said. "Letting Pai in your kitchen is a good way to kill him- but everyone else will die too, so his weakness really doesn't do you much good now, does it?"

"Does Taruto have a weakness?" Ryou asked.

"If you can't guess what his weakness is, you must be pretty dumb," Kisshu said. "It's completely obvious."

"That's because you live with him," Ryou snarled.

"It's obvious to the Mews too," Kisshu said. "I bet even Cupcake Man knows what it is. You're an IDIOT, Radioactive Butter Boy!"

"Grr…." Ryou said. "Do YOU have a weakness?"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't be likely to tell YOU about it," Kisshu said, smirking.

"You are so doomed once I get the rest of the information I need out of you," Ryou said. "What is your next plan?"

"Mine has three parts," Kisshu said, inwardly smirking at the interested look on Ryou's face. "The first part is to find some way of getting Ichigo to love me. The second part is to convince Pai to get out of denial about loving Lettuce. And the third part, which was supposed to be implemented before you captured me, is to beat Taruto senseless for stealing MY share of the chocolate cream pie."

"Do Pai and Taruto have plans too?" Ryou asked wearily.

"Yup, Pai's plan is to reach five hundred Mew Lettuce plushies and confess to her by the time we're done here, and Taruto's plan is to introduce candy to his friend Yusuke," Kisshu said. "Taruto's plan is doomed to failure, though."

"Do you have ANY plans relevant to the mission you were given?" Ryou asked.

"Not right now," Kisshu said. "Capturing me now was really a waste of your time- but driving you insane is amusing. You're very entertaining, Radioactive Butter Boy. Kind of like the time I decapitated a Mew Lettuce plushy in front of Pai. That was fun- until he tried to strangle me. By the way, did you know you're turning into a purple penguin?"

"I am?" Ryou asked nervously.

"Yup," Kisshu said, making his face blank. "I'd say you'll be fully transformed by tomorrow."

"YAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ryou screamed, and ran out, leaving the door open.

A few minutes later, Kisshu was still snickering when Ichigo poked her head around the door. "Kisshu?" she asked. "What happened?"

"I decided since Radioactive Butter Boy captured me, I'd try to drive him insane," Kisshu said. "I don't suppose you've got some way of getting me out now, though?"

Ichigo came over to the cage, and looked at the lock, then said, "I think there's a key outside, I'll go get it." She left, and came back with a key on a chain, then unlocked the cage. She opened the door, and helped Kisshu out, catching him as he stumbled a bit. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just a bit stiff," Kisshu said.

Ichigo steadied him until he was able to walk better, and they were about to leave when Ryou stormed in and shouted, "You lied! I'm NOT turning into a purple penguin!"

Kisshu snickered. "I'm surprised you believed that," he said. "Seriously, you thought I was serious?"

Ryou snarled, then asked Ichigo, "WHY did you let him out!?"

"Kisshu isn't an animal; he shouldn't be in a cage," Ichigo said calmly. "Besides, if he's in a cage, I can't do this." She grabbed Kisshu by the collar, and kissed him passionately. Ryou started sputtering as Kisshu immediately kissed back, pulling Ichigo closer as he did so.

They didn't break it off until Ryou asked disgruntledly, "Doesn't Ichigo need air?"

Kisshu and Ichigo broke it off and glared at Ryou. "I get it, I get it, I'm leaving," Ryou said gloomily. He stormed out, and Ichigo and Kisshu burst out laughing.

It took quite a while for them to calm down, but when they did, Kisshu asked, "Should we go back to my place, or yours?"

"Is yours okay?" Ichigo asked. "I don't want you to push yourself; you've been down here for two days."

"Maybe we should go to your house," Kisshu said.

"Okay," Ichigo said. Kisshu took her hand and teleported to her house. As they landed in Ichigo's room, Kisshu stumbled again. "I'm kind of dizzy," he admitted.

Ichigo helped him walk over to her bed, and helped him sit down. "Can you take off your boots?" she asked gently. "I think you should get some rest."

Kisshu took off his boots, and climbed under the covers on Ichigo's bed. Ichigo gently tucked him in and settled down next to him. He sleepily watched as she reached out and gently stroked his hair. It felt nice, and soon he was sleeping.

_**Six hours later: **_Ichigo was kind of worried about Kisshu; he hadn't even stirred since he had fallen asleep six hours ago. Finally she called telepathically, _Pai!_

_Did you find Kisshu? _Pai asked.

_Yes, and he teleported us back to my place, but then said he was dizzy, and he's been sleeping since then, _Ichigo said.

_I'm on my way, _Pai said. Sure enough, he teleported in two minutes later, and came over, then put a hand on Kisshu's chest, concentrating. _He's just worn out, _Pai told Ichigo. _When he wakes up, he should be feeling better, but you should give him something to eat, and make sure he drinks plenty of fluids._

_Okay, I will, _Ichigo said.

_Thanks, _Pai said. _Do you need me to stay?_

_No, I'll be fine, and I can always call you if need be, _Ichigo said.

_Alright, _Pai said, and teleported out.

Ichigo went back to stroking Kisshu's hair, and smiled as he leaned into her hand, sighing happily.

**I know it probably sucks, but I think the first part is funny, so please don't flame if you don't like the rest, please.**


End file.
